Wednesday, December 24, 2008

7-12 inches for christmas... i'm bent over at the hips!


Hey friends,
This year I thought I'd start a new tradition! NO I'm not gonna bend over on the street corner.. although, it was a thought. I just don't need that kind of attention right now! I have decided to start a digital letter!you know, kind of like those annoying letters you get in the mail only way, way fucking cooler! Just a little splash of max for the holidays! I KNOW.. HOW EXCITING... ISN'T IT??? The answer is yes! Bitch. so here goes! oh and this is not for children.. its intended for mature adults only!


Dear friends:

Now that Dolly Parton and her luscious set of tits, have wished ME a merry Christmas, and the US military is tracking Santa, we can all rest still and praise Jesus for he was born on this orgasmic day! I know I praise him.. THANK YA JESUS. can I get a hell ya? Sorry had to throw some form of Jesus into this letter! After all, if not for him, we would just be buying way to many gifts that we can't afford for no reason... Why don't we give to the church? oh ya thats right...Sorry random question thrown in there..

Anyway I've received many gifts this past year. an avalanche beacon, meant to save my life when I'm stupid, a 9 inch "toy..." I'm sorry but who thinks that 9 inches is really a toy??? 9 inches is no toy what so ever... its a weapon... I've met new friends this year which i am totally appreciative of. I have realized the true meaning of appreciation this year after all i still have a job, which I enjoy!

I love where I live! The people are way fucked in the head especially the gay Mormon ones.. But, I have the mountains, and y'all know how I love me some mtns! I went on vacation this year! A Real one!! 4 days in San Fransisco. Ending in a big leather fetish festival.. by accident... accident... yes! Maybe it was a sign from Jesus who knows. The clean pics are on my photobucket acct. the dirty ones are not up anywhere.. thinking about putting them on the xtube acct. I tried to make a dvd but the demand was to great and my photobucket acct. would have been deleted because of the xxx pics i would have posted... I know how sad is that. but if you really want to see them come to slc and take a peak..

Well folks The Sound of Music sing-a-long is starting and my laderhosen are riding up my ass again so I must go now.. But before I go I'll leave you with my wishes/resolutions for the new year!
1.) Stop saying fuck so god damn much
2.) Volunteer (This is my real contribution to society for the year. I say everyone should volunteer for an organization that helps other people or themselves. It will make you feel good when you do)
3.) love life and keep smiling.

Max!
keep up to date on all of Max's blogs and photos:
www.maxcalise.blogspot.com
www.photobucket.com/maxcalise

3 comments:

Mat said...

Fuck you, you fucking fuck! You totally stole your first resolution from me. But it's a good one, so I s'pose I'll share.

Love ya Gluteus Maximus. I'm glad you're my pal.

Nika Travis and Ayda said...

Merry Christmas Max. I hope this year brings you many great things!! Thanks for the letter, made me laugh and miss you a little bit more!!

Lindz (Yankee Girl Designs) said...

Ohhhh Maxie, I'm so glad you started a yearly letter just like that whacked out family used to send every year that we'd all read aloud and laugh at. I was thinking that maybe I'd print it out and read it aloud at Gramma's for all to hear, but ummm maybe not so much w/ all the fucking swearing and all :)